He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
