do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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