whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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