Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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