I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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