matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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