Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
