And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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