YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize