I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
