Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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