No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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