Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
