That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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