So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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