Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
