So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize