Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
