Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
