420 ftw
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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