Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
