SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
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I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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