It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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