JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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