barbara walters just said penis...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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