when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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