before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
