Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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