Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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