my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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