My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
