We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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