the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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