Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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