just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?