You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?