Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
