You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just pee around me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
