Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
