Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've blown a few things in my day
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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