Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
