I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
