Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf