just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
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I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..