So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
