I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
