Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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