we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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