Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
