Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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