I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
