i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
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Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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