Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
honey bunches of taint.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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