They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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