Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I love having hate sex.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
