that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
