hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize