guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I could fuck to npr.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
