First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
