I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm both gender and math confused
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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